I have a 10 year old son who is at the age where he feels he is always right and
he can get a real attitude going.  I used to yell and holler.  I just couldn't get
through to him.  However, I found that once I started calming down and speaking to
him in a calm voice, he started instantly to calm down.  Also if I talk to him
one on one instead of trying to have the conversation while cooking supper or
watching TV. etc.  he really seems to respond to that more.  He feels like he has
my full attention.  I try to tell him that I understand he is upset and I am sorry
that he feels that way.  Then I let him know that there are consequences to his
actions.  Once he is calmed down and listening he will change his behavior on his
own.  It is very hard sometimes to get myself calmed down to do this, but if you can
it really works.  I have also used this technique at the school I work in.  The
children feel like you really do understand how they are feeling and not just trying
to punish them all the time.  You are able to build a good relationship in the
process.  However, you do have to follow through with your consequences that you set for each action too. 

Tonya, Mom of 2
Talbot, IN